Monday 30 September 2013

Latest column, musing on New York, love & chocolate chip cookies, en route to the other side of the world...

It’s the middle of the night, the cabin lights are out and everyone is sleeping around me. I’m somewhere in the clouds over Russia, on my way to join my boyfriend in Thailand. He’s been rhapsodising about his ‘secret’ island of Koh Tao ever since I met him. Now I finally get to see it. Heathrow airport was surprisingly stress-free on a Monday evening; I celebrated with some new perfume, a pair of jewelled flip-flops, and a glass of champagne. Ah, the joys of travelling alone.

Thursday 26 September 2013

“While I can’t have you, I long for you. I am the kind of person who would miss a train or a plane to meet you for coffee. I’d take a taxi across town to see you for ten minutes. I’d wait outside all night if I thought you would open the door in the morning. If you call me and say ‘Will you…’ my answer is ‘Yes’, before your sentence is out. I spin worlds where we could be together. I dream you. For me, imagination and desire are very close.”

“What should I do about the wild and the tame? The wild heart that wants to be free, and the tame heart that wants to come home. I want to be held. I don't want you to come too close. I want you to scoop me up and bring me home at nights. I don't want to tell you where I am. I want to keep a place among the rocks where no one can find me. I want to be with you.”

“I am good at walking away. Rejection teaches you how to reject.”  
Jeanette Winterson

Monday 16 September 2013

Info on my upcoming talks:

Cheltenham Literature Festival: Sunday 6th October 2013

Sheffield Off The Shelf Books Festival: Monday 21st October 2013
I loved you when you opened like a lily to the heat, you see I’m just another snowman standing in the rain and sleet, who loved you with his frozen love, his second hand physique, with all he is, and all he was, a thousand kisses deep.

I know you had to lie to me, I know you had to cheat, to pose all hot and high behind the veils of shear deceit, our perfect porn aristocrat so elegant and cheap, I’m old but I’m still into that, a thousand kisses deep.

I’m good at love, I’m good at hate, it' s in between I freeze. Been working out, but its too late, it’s been to late for years. But you look good, you really do, they love you on the street. If you were here I’d kneel for you, a thousand kisses deep...

So, the deed is done. After years of wanting to get myself inked I’ve finally gone and done it. Yes, I have my first tattoo...

Body art is everywhere these days, but it wasn’t always. When I was a teenager I didn’t know anyone with a tattoo. My parents forbade me even to get my ears pierced until the age of 16, and I can still remember the furore when my younger sister came home with a small silver ring through her belly-button. In my twenties I considered a tattoo, but wasn’t sure what to get. When I think back over the unsuitable boyfriends’ initials which I might have chosen, the profound song lyrics, or smiley faces, I’m glad I didn’t have the courage. Until now...

T-day arrived. I woke up and told my boyfriend I’d changed my mind. At breakfast I changed it back again. Arriving at the studio I had to sign a sinister form, consenting to ‘permanent alteration of my appearance’. After that things are a bit vague. I remember lying down while the tattooist set to work, and then came appalling agony, as if someone was carving into my hip with a scalpel. I knew it must be a needle, not an actual blade, but I couldn’t bring myself to look. For nearly an hour I gritted my teeth, sweat on my forehead, praying for it to be over...

Tell me again
When I’ve been to the river
And I’ve taken the edge off my thirst
Tell me again
We’re alone and I’m listening
I’m listening so hard that it hurts
Tell me again
When I’m clean and I’m sober
Tell me again
When I’ve seen through the horror
Tell me again
Tell me over and over
Tell me that you want me then

Leonard Cohen at the O2 Arena last night... truly sensational. I've seen him play quite a few times, in quite a few countries, and he just gets better & better. A true poet.